Metanoia
by Coolfire30
Summary: The journey of changing one's mind, heart, self, or way of life; spiritual conversion.


**Chapter 1: You're all my past**

 **Pairing: Sesshoumaru X Kagome**

 **A/N: It seems like I just keep dropping fact bombs but I promise it'll all make sense.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own shit except for this plot and any character not already in the series I may add.**

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She saw herself staring at the view in front of her, she was seeing the events that led to that fateful moment when everything changed. Kagome stayed at a respectable distance and held a passive gaze at the wedding procession. Inuyasha and Kikyou's wedding to be precise, it wasn't as if she wasn't invited, she was. The letter was left outside her hut, mindlessly she read its contents and found that she was not surprised nor hurt just...empty. She could remember the words so clearly - _You are invited to one long overdue Miko and hanyou's mating and binding ceremony. -_ It was bound to happen after all, and she's long since prepared her heart for Inuyasha's eventual betrayal, or was it his continuous betrayal? How could she not, when the signs were so visible. Inuyasha leaving her in midst of battle heading towards Kikyou, following her Soul Collectors that summoned him. But he always did manage to save her in time, wounds or no wounds that was enough for her, it used to be. Used to be enough for her to continue pinning after him. But buried deep down she still hoped that the future she envisioned where he and her would start a family together would be realized. Until the feeble hope, she carried came crashing down, leaving her breathless. The fateful moment where he turned her back on her and left her to die an untimely death. As she was struck by a rogue oni, he only watched with eyes full of pity before scampering off to wherever he was needed **more**. By the time her body hit the ground, her mind was made up - I see...this is how it ends then. I can only hope he doesn't regret this, he's suffered too much - Until the end, she was still contradicting herself, and everything that made her...well, her.

Then came darkness...darkness was all she could see. Chains bound her from who knows where, they were coiled around her arms, legs, and neck. It was cold, the frost bit into her skin like icicles, she could feel nothing else but the coldness of the chains.

She felt Sesshoumaru's orb surrounding their bodies, enclosing them inside the fluorescent green barrier and suddenly moved forward traveling to Inuyasha's forest. Kagome merely gripped his haori as she returned from the confines of her mind.

As the field came into view and the well's energy started reaching out to its mistress - Kagome, she knew something was amiss.

Landing near the village she observed the people how they shook in fear, how they threw a mix of anger and confused looks at her, some whispering slanderous words at her. This all made her tilt her nose up in disgust, were these the people she risked her life for, to save?

Planting her scythes and bow near her, Kagome breathed in and stared at the clear sky above, hearing loud footsteps coming closer and knowing it was her old team of shard hunters.

Running out their huts, Kaede, Miroku, and Sango stared in wonder as Kagome came into view with the Western Inu Lord standing closely behind her. She walked and met them in the middle of the field.

"Kagome!" Sango cried out.

"Lady Kagome?" Miroku asked.

"Dear Kagome, what happened to you. Why are you with that monster!?" Kaede blurted out. "Demon release her at once," she screamed at Sesshoumaru as she took out binding and purifying sutras and threw them at Sesshoumaru.

The pieces of paper merely burned as they came in contact with Kagome's barrier. Sesshoumaru raising a perfectly arched brow at the weak display of power from the Miko but said nothing. Kaede falling back slightly, shocked before leaning on her wooden staff for support.

"I see Inuyasha is not here," Kagome stated.

"Of course he isn't, he left to go find you. You've been gone for many moons Kagome, we were worried and he still hasn't returned -," Sango said worriedly before Miroku cut her off, "- And now we see you - He looks pointedly at Sesshoumaru before continuing - arriving with him. How you've changed Lady Kagome, if not for your aura I wouldn't have thought it was you. But even that...that has even changed if only slightly."

Tilting her head right, her eyes glowing a deathly greyish blue she intoned,"Hnn, so you don't know then? You all don't know how I suffered, how I died with Inuyasha staring into my eyes as he ran. How finally knowing what I know now, that life isn't that special after all."

The old Miko spoke up, "You can't seriously be saying that! Every single life is precious. We are Miko's, we protect humans, we protect life from these dangerous beasts in human form! Everything I've taught you-"

"Ideas like every single life is precious and no one is truly evil through and through are merely platitudes spoken by people who don't see reality," Kagome uttered as she looked at Kaede.

Sesshoumaru watched as Kagome returned to his side, claiming her scythes and bow.

"And if no one has saved more people than I have, then it follows that no one has failed to save more lives than I have. There are so many people I've tried to save and failed, more than I could ever count but more than I could ever forget." she breathed, her eyes turning cold as ice.

"Kagome, we must depart soon," Sesshoumaru whispered in her ear as he stood behind and wrapped his arms around her waist. Kagome merely nodded and in that brief moment, her eyes softened.

Miroku eyed the unlikely couple standing in front of them. That display of affection no matter how small it was, was duly noted by his perceptive eyes.

"I've seen country after country fall into ruin, I've seen slaughter upon unjustified slaughter, Crimes against humanity are burned into my brain. - She looked up at the night sky littered with stars before once again placing her gaze upon Kaede - The hunting of humans, institutionalized slavery, civil war, immoral weaponry, human trafficking, senicide, parricide, infanticide, cultural genocide, large-scale destruction of cultural heritage, exhaustion of resources, discrimination and prejudice, revenge and retaliation, subjection of women to men, starvation and epidemics. - She gave a pointed look at Sango's shocked face - I've seen them again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again. I've seen them all, I've looked them in the eye, I've seen the reality," She let out a slightly amused scoff.

"So don't preach to me about the importance of human life, don't try to stop me. I only wished to say my farewells, and if you all can't even let me do that...then forget me," Kagome looked sideways at Sesshoumaru and pulled at his haori signaling her wish to leave.

"Wait, Kagome," Sango shouted as she took a step forward, "What about Inuyasha, what about the future we dreamt of?"

Kagome pressed her face into Sesshoumaru's haori and breathed in his musky fragrance of lavender and pine in an attempt to calm herself before she lost more control. She smiled a bitter smile and looked at Sesshoumaru.

"The foolish half-breed abandoned her in midst of battle, that foul clay woman's soul collectors summoned him leaving my Miko defenseless," Sesshoumaru answered in place of Kagome leaving a resonating sound that filtered through the field.

Gasps were heard, if not by the clear declaration of Sesshoumaru's claim on Kagome, then by Inuyasha's actions.

"That can't be," Kaede roared out, "Inuyasha is an honorable man, he would never do such a thing. I've known him all his life and from what I know of you-you beast - She shrieked -, Inuyasha will be much better for Kagome." She brought her cane down on the cold hard ground giving a loud thump.

Sesshoumaru rested his chin on Kagome's head as he threatened them, "Do not presume to know what Kagome needs or wants, while this Sesshoumaru does not care for your threats to my person, if I, Sesshoumaru so much as feel like you are no longer beneficial for her well-being, then i will not hesitate to end your puny existences," his narrowed eyes glared at them.

Sango gripped Miroku's robes as she took in Sesshoumaru's thinly veiled threat to their lives. Miroku however, only widened his eyes slightly at the couple wondering whatever could have happened for The Great Taiyoukai to have fallen for a ningen. But reminding himself that it was Kagome he was talking about making the whole situation believable.

"M-ma-mama?" Shippou managed to squeak out.

Kagome abruptly turned around, eyes darting to the small voice, a low whimpering sound escaping her throat. As she saw her child hiding behind the transformed Kirara, she nudged Sesshoumaru's neck with her nose, a series of sharp mewls leaving her mouth.

"Kit come, your mother awaits," Sesshoumaru's deep and commanding voice boomed out.

With a bright orange flash and the after-images of a fox's tail, Shippou screamed just as Kagome opened her arms as the bundle of energy cuddled into her chest before Sesshoumaru transported them with a gust of wind.

The Inu-tachi were left bewildered as the fact finally dawned on them, Sesshoumaru and Kagome were courting. Sesshoumaru spoke more than 3 words. But for Sango and Miroku at least, Inuyasha's betrayal was something that would have inevitably happened sooner or later. Kaede, however, was wide-eyed and flustered at the scene that just transpired.

Her archaic way of thinking and discriminatory beliefs clouded her mind of who she should be listening to, and of who she should believe.

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 **A/N: How is it? I thought of this idea while I was on the verge of the land of dreams and reality, and I just couldn't get it out of my head. Soooo here it is, the chapter seems kinda rushed, doesn't it? Anyways as usual Follow, Favourite and review I guess**


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